Summary: Find others with raw and unrefined abilities and work tirelessly to hone their gifts so that they can be the best that they can be, maybe even better than you. Ministry multiplication seeks to bring out the best in others.

Read Article

Selfish and small leaders are threatened by the building of other gifted leaders. It would be like the quarterback not throwing the ball to the best receiver for fear that receiver might get better press.

And yet in doing so, they shortcut the possibility of that team ever getting Super Bowl rings for everyone.

Find others with raw and unrefined abilities and work tirelessly to hone their gifts so that they can be the best that they can be, maybe even better than you. Build others to be better than you. Ministry multiplication seeks to bring out the best in others. People in your orbit should be so happy that you’re in their lives. They would be happy that you are so generous in providing them opportunities for growth.

Can you celebrate the growth and victory of another? Always remember: this is the kingdom, this is NOT your kingdom.

Summary: If you have been in the ministry for any length of time, you have encountered strong opinions. Some opinions simply carry more weight than others.

Read Article

People have strong opinions in ministry. If you have been in the ministry for any length of time, you have encountered strong opinions. Some opinions are expressed graciously. Some opinions are expressed rather forcefully. I do not count opinions. I weigh opinions. Let me say that again. I do not count opinions. I weigh opinions.

Some opinions simply carry more weight than others. What items carry more weight with me as someone shares their opinions? I consider their character. I consider their godliness. I factor in how much skin they have in this game or how involved they are. I consider their history and track record. I contemplate their approach and demeanor as they share their opinions.

Years ago, I was approached by a very new couple at the church. They had been attending our church for less than a month. One day, the husband asked me if we could have a meeting. He and his wife forcefully told me we should completely dismantle our current Wednesday program and replace it with the system and curriculum their previous church had been using. He was forceful. He wanted us to make this change quickly and had much to say about what we had been doing for the last 15 years. Keep in mind that he had observed our Wednesday for a grand total of 4 times.

We get a lot of opinions thrown our way in ministry. We have to weigh those opinions. Needless to say, I did not implement the opinion of this new and forceful couple. Simply put, their opinion, while valid, was not weighty enough to make a major ministry decision. As a side note, less than 6-months later, they changed churches, presumably to be as forceful at the next church as they had been at our church. I chose to weigh opinions. I do not simply count them.

Summary: 1st Corinthians 15:58 says, “Nothing you do in the Lord is in vain.” If you are in ministry, you know the bizarre cornucopia of tasks that seem to have no direct bearing on the Gospel. The people of the church will likely not know the extent to which we labor and strive in ways unseen. Can your heart be filled with worship as you operate in the mundane?

Read Article

I want to introduce you to a word that I made up: Administriva. Yup, I made up a word. This made-up word is a combination of Administration + Trivia. The Ministry is FILLED with often trivial administrative tanks. Hence the creation of a new word, Administrivia. I was blown away at the number of random and less glamorous tasks that I found myself joyfully doing.

There is a wonderful verse that I embraced early on in church ministry. 1st Corinthians 15:58 says, “Nothing you do in the Lord is in vain.” This small portion of scripture was a wealth of encouragement to me. Naively, we might think that the mundane and behind the scenes items are necessary but lame. I want to challenge this thinking. If you are in ministry, you know the bizarre cornucopia of tasks that seem to have no direct bearing on the Gospel. We can, at best, mindlessly do these tasks, or at worst, resentfully do these tasks. We can be frustrated as we engage in the “Administrivia” of ministry, only thinking that certain things are “Truly Ministry”.

Folks, this is not true. It is all ministry. Nothing you do in the Lord is in vain. Couple this with “Let all you do be done heartily, as unto the Lord.” The people of the church will likely not know the extent to which we labor and strive in ways unseen. Can your heart be filled with worship as you operate in the mundane? Can you be a walking altar of incense as you engage in the administrivia of your week? Remember, “nothing you do in the Lord is in vain”.

Summary: If you are married, my challenge is to reflect on how your spouse bears part of the burden for fulfilling your calling in ministry. Call it out. Celebrate it and bring it to the light today.

Read Article

I want to speak to you about the realities of marriage and ministry. Before I do, however, I want to set the record straight. Ministry does not require that someone be married. Quite the contrary. Paul said in 1st Corinthians 7, “If you can stay single, by all means DO THIS.” Paul is clear that marriage complicates matters. You do not have to be married to be in ministry. But if you are married, or if you plan to be married, keep your ears open.

I have a calling on my life from the Lord. I am blessed to be married to someone who also has a calling. We seek to operate in spiritual oneness. We steward what I call, “Our Collective Calling.” The way our callings play out can, however, look different in different seasons of our lives and our marriages.

I was on staff at a church for over a decade. There are costs to our calling. For me, I drove to church by myself and did not get to attend our couples Sunday School class since I was working. This was a small cost to fulfill my calling, but a cost nonetheless. During that same time, my spouse was carrying out her calling in a different way. She was bearing the load of being a single parent on a Sunday, wrangling 4 kids to church. There was a cost for her to fulfill on our collective calling.

Are you married and in ministry? Do you understand that your spouse can take a beating and you do not even realize it. For those who are married and in ministry, take a moment and reflect on how your spouse helps you manage and even fulfill your calling. For us, it’s “better together.” Sarah and I are collectively called. Our calling as a couple means that we each fulfill various aspects of this calling from God. We can, however, overlook the vital role of a staff spouse and their hidden burdens.

If you are married, my challenge is to reflect on how your spouse bears part of the burden for fulfilling your calling in ministry. Call it out. Celebrate it and bring it to the light today.

Summary: When you go first and model vulnerability, you can cause a chain reaction of “Jailbreak Moments” where others are set free.

Read Article

Today, I want to talk to you about the power of a “Jailbreak Moment.” Imagine watching a movie and all of the jail doors simultaneously open. Every prisoner’s door is flung wide open. We might call this a “Jailbreak Moment.” As leaders in the church, we long to witness “Jailbreak Moments” and see people set free.

Let’s keep that movie imagery in mind. People are locked up. They want to go free and yet prison bars seem to be holding them back. They feel stuck. For the sake of our discussion, let’s imagine that freedom is found through vulnerability. Vulnerability is being honest with where we are right now, no longer hiding behind a mask. Freedom is found as jail doors open and people come clean about their true self, their true struggles and experience true freedom.

In my experience, in order for a “Jailbreak Moment” to happen, someone has to go first. Someone has to take a first step and model vulnerability. There is power in someone being honest about where they have been, sharing transparently. There is power in being honest about where someone is right now, sharing with vulnerability.

Have you ever experienced a “Jailbreak Moment?” Here is how it can happen: Someone shares that they feel like a bad parent because their teen is angry all the time. At that moment, 3 other parents come out of the darkness and share that they feel the same way. Now four people no longer feel alone. Someone went first. At this moment, one person took off a mask. When one person shares, taking a step of vulnerability, the prison guard’s button, “Open All Jail Doors” seems to be pushed. Others feel they can walk through.

You go first and model vulnerability. You may cause a chain reaction of prison doors flying open.

Summary: People in your churches and in your lives are hungry for others to be transparent about their past and vulnerable about their present. Emotionally intelligent leaders are not afraid to be honest and real at the right times and with the right people. Don’t be a leader who thinks they need to “have it all together, all the time.”

Read Article

Great leaders understand the power of transparency and vulnerability. Let’s seek to define these two terms. Transparency is being open and honest about your past. On the other hand, vulnerability is being open and honest about yourself and your standing right now. Transparency is where you have been and vulnerability is where you are currently.

I believe, with all my heart, that people in your churches and in your lives are hungry for others to be transparent about their past and vulnerable about their present. In a false world of social media perfection, we all need to showcase the harder realities of our authentic lives.

Now listen. For all of the black and white people out there, please understand that we must be wise in our transparency and our vulnerability. As my wife likes to say, “Healthy vulnerability is not sharing ALL the things, with ALL the people, ALL the time.” Poor leadership lacks discernment. There are places and spaces where “laying it all out” would not be the best move.

And yet, emotionally intelligent leaders are not afraid to be honest and real at the right times and with the right people. We are not called to present a “curated image” but rather an “authentic image.” Don’t be a leader who thinks they need to “have it all together, all the time.” This is not only untrue, it is unhealthy.

Can I challenge you to begin to exercise the possibly attrified muscle group of vulnerability this week? It may pave the way for great things.

Summary: People’s personal lives can be messy. In ministry, part of your job is to deal with people’s spiritual emergencies. Spend your ministry life well so you can serve people in their times of great need.

Read Article

People’s personal lives can be messy. Jesus came for the hurting not the healthy. If you stood in the line to be a doctor, you should not be shocked to be dealing with sick people. If you stand in the line to be a dentist, you should not be surprised that you have to deal with a little bad breath from time to time. Folks, you stood in the ministry line. You should not be shocked that part of our job is to deal with people’s spiritual emergencies.

Can I get really honest with you? This is my one and only life. I want to spend it well. I want to spend my energies on things that really matter. I do not want to spend all of my time and all of my energy on lesser things. Let’s define lesser things: Making copies, setting up chairs, being bogged down in email for hours a day. Listen. All of these things are necessary things. They are just NOT the most important things.

I want to deal with all of the lesser in such a way that I am fully prepared and able to deal with people’s spiritual emergencies. Think of a doctor who has gone to years of expensive schooling. He put himself through all of this pain and financial cost SO HE COULD BE READY to help people. An effective doctor would not want to think that his or her highest use is being stuck in a back office clicking on charts and filling out paperwork.

I am not knocking paperwork or administrative tasks. We have to do these tasks. But these tasks are intended to support the cause NOT be the end of our cause. People are the highest end. Are you prepared for people and their hardships? Remember, this is a major part of what we are supposed to do. I am not called, exclusively, to make copies, reply to emails and fill in spreadsheets. There is a purpose for these items, but they are a means to a deeper end.

This week, let’s keep the main thing, the main thing.

Summary: Hard conversations happen in ministry. Sometimes the hardest part is the timing. Try these five phrases to lead well in hard conversations.

Read Article

Hard conversations happen in ministry. There are two parts of hard conversations: First — content, and second — timing. Often it is not just that hard conversations are hard because of the content of that conversation. Yet, sometimes these hard conversations are hard because of the timing of that hard conversation. For me, the worst time to have a hard conversation was on a Sunday morning or a Wednesday night.

Let’s imagine someone approaches you on a Sunday morning, with scores of people standing or walking nearby. Today, I want to give you 5 phrases to put a hot and angry conversation on ice and cool things off in the moment.

Here are the 5 phrases in rapid fire: Phrase #1 - “That’s Interesting,” Phrase #2 - “Tell me more,” Phrase #3 - “You have given me a lot to think about,” Phrase #4 - “Let me take this back to the team,” Phrase #5, “Do you feel heard right now?”

I have used these 5 phrases to help mellow potentially volatile conversation. Phrase #1 “That’s interesting” This phrase alone is critical. You are not saying they are WRONG or RIGHT. You are affirming them without committing to any conclusions. Phrase #2 - “Tell me more.” Rather than manically talking and possibly digging yourself into a defensive hole, you are taking the role of an active listener. Phrase #3 - “You have given me a lot to think about.” I like this phrase because it not only validates their thoughts, it telegraphs that you may not be able to provide an INSTANTANEOUS answer. This leads to phrase #4, “Let me take this back to the team.” You can defer this possibly heated conversation so you can collect your thoughts and gain counsel from your team. Remember, not every situation demands an instantaneous answer. Phrase #5, “Do you feel heard right now?” Personally, I think this is one of the most important things you can say to someone who might be angry or upset.

I encourage you to consider incorporating these phrases into your leadership language.

Summary: When communicating with volunteers, sometimes clarification is needed. Listen and repeat back what you are hearing, so others can clarify if that’s what they were actually sending and intending.

Read Article

I want to tell you about the wonders of the McDonald’s Drive Thru language. Now, many, many, many, many years ago, McDonald’s was finding a lot of lost revenue as people were going through the drive thru, they were getting their food from the drive thru, paying for their food at the drive thru, and then driving off only to realize that they did not get what they ordered.

Hear me out. You see McDonald’s made a startling revelation that it was a breakdown in communication that caused not only a loss in revenue but caused the people who were getting their food to be disappointed and frustrated. McDonald’s made an amazing realization and their solution to this problem now is used in relationship studies. It’s used in counseling and even in psychology with relationships and it’s called the McDonald’s Drive Thru Method.

They simply asked the customer, “Now, you wanted a Coke, small fries and a quarter pounder?” And the person in the car would say “Not at all. I wanted a Diet Coke, a medium fry and a quarter pounder.” To which the drive thru person would say “Fantastic. You wanted a Coke, a small fry and a quarter pounder.” “NO! I wanted a Diet Coke, a medium fry and a quarter pounder.”

At the end of the day, it’s simply clarifying communication. Let me give you a challenge. In your next opportunity - whether it’s with a spouse, or a staff person, or even a volunteer, or possibly a parent in your ministry - as they say something to you, simply repeat back what you heard from them, and ask for clarity. It is amazing. What you hear is often not what they were sending. My encouragement to you: review, and listen, and then repeat back what you heard from them to clarify that’s what they were sending and intending. I call it McDonald’s Drive Thru communication.

Summary: The brain craves a starting point and an ending point. If you use a “communication sandwich” you can help your listener retain more information by packaging the communication correctly.

Read Article

Today, I want to tell you about the simplicity of the “Communication Sandwich.” The “Communication Sandwich” will allow you to become more effective in your written and verbal leadership. This is a tried-and-true method of communication that makes it EASIER for a leader to prepare. That’s you! This simple type of communication also makes it EASIER for the listener to receive and remember. That’s them!

The “Communication Sandwich” is composed of three parts: A top bun, the meat and the bottom bun. The top bun is when you tell your audience exactly what you are about to tell them. “Today I am going to tell you about the Communication Sandwich.” The meat is telling them the deeper details of your topic, in this case, the “Communication Sandwich.” The bottom bun is nothing more than telling them, “I have just told you about the “Communication Sandwich.”

The brain craves a starting point and an ending point. Effective communicators make the brain of the listener do LESS WORK and therefore gain and retain more information. If we are to be effective communicators, we need to learn to PACKAGE our communication correctly.

Let me give you the meat of this “Communication Sandwich” Part one is the Top Bun. Tell your audience precisely what you are going to tell them. Part two is the meat or the middle part. After you have told them what you are going to tell them, you actually TELL THEM exactly what you told them you were going to tell them! Part three is the closer or bottom bun. You simply tell them that you literally just told them what you wanted to tell them.

Today, I have just told you about the “Communication Sandwich.” Let me challenge you to incorporate this communication method and watch your audience devour your content. Did you see what I just did there? I literally used the communication sandwich to teach you about the communication sandwich.